Santa Claus

Every few weeks I find myself sitting in my room feeling sort of weird. I feel fidgety and brain-dead at the same time. I'll lie on my bed and thoughts are spinning through my head, but I can't put a pin into a single thing I'm thinking about. I don't know. It's always so inconvenient - at a time when I need to get something done and today that thing is studying for my STATS 121 test. I'm terribly behind. And without an A, I won't have the GPA needed for a program I'm looking to apply to. WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY is that studying for this test is extremely important but each time I look at the screen of formulas, the letters go all transparent and I just really, REALLY can't study them. This isn't laziness, I swear. I can get things done. I'm actually not that bad at math. I'm kind of good at math.

So, studying was out, and I tried to latch onto the thing that had me brain-dead and brain-annoyingly-alive at the same time. So I made some mac-n-cheese and tried some online shopping, though to no avail. What's funny is that this happens relatively often and it still takes me some time to find what it is that's making me feel... weird (for lack of a better word).

BUT I FIGURED IT OUT. I hadn't been creative in a while. It's been too long since I did a little dance or put a pen in my hand for something other that STATS 121 notes. It's videos like this one (from 500 Days of Summer) that lights my fingertips again and reminds me what believing in Santa Claus feels like. Which is actually contrary to what Tom says in the film. Convincing the skeptic girl of his dreams to fall for him he says to her, "It's love. It's not Santa Claus". I love what he's trying to say, except I think being in love is a lot like believing in Santa Claus. When you're in love you ain't never scared (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryIjCkw3Jfg). Of course, there will be presents. Candy is everywhere. Nobody can laugh or point fingers. You know you're right, and it's your little secret. Refer to video below.

*I text him*

Me: I feel weird

Him: Pick up a pen and then let's go for a walk. It's so nice out.


heart eyes